Mommy Wanted Page 6

  Not a good idea. She shifted a little, so that she sat farther from her boss.

  The silence and the aloneness of this situation made Kate feel awkward. If she waited long enough, he would tell her what he wanted to talk about. But the quiet unnerved her, and she decided to end it. “It’s nice out tonight,” she said.

  The swing creaked as he turned to face Kate. She’d kind of hoped this conversation would occur with the two of them looking straight ahead, across the porch and toward the towering cherry trees, so she focused on the bloom-covered branches swaying in the breeze, several of those delicate pink petals catching the wind and putting on a mesmerizing show as they tumbled to the ground.

  “Kate, I want to talk to you for a second. This is hard for me, but I need to do it, and I’d like for you to look at me when I do, if you don’t mind.”

  His voice was so solemn, so serious, that she had no choice but to turn and face him, his face appearing even more grim within the gray shadow of the porch. Kate ached for him. She had no idea what had caused this disposition, but his earlier comment signified that it had something to do with her. Had he figured out who she really was? That she’d hurt one of his best friends? And if that was it, why would he need to apologize?

  “I didn’t treat you right this evening,” he said, “at church.”

  She quickly replayed the earlier events, from the time she’d followed him to the church to his introduction to the preacher to the Bible lesson—when they hadn’t even been sitting near each other, so that couldn’t have been it—to the time he’d seen her in the class hallway. Not once did she remember him treating her badly. “You treated me fine,” she said.

  “No.” He shook his head. “I didn’t. And if you didn’t notice it, well, then, I guess you aren’t used to true Southern hospitality, but I am. That’s who I am, and where I come from, and tonight I tossed it in the trash and ignored you.”

  “Ignored me,” she repeated, having no idea when he’d ignored her.

  “I could have directed you to a class. I could have introduced you to more church members, other than just Brother Henry when we walked in. And I could have spoken to you instead of merely stepping past you in the hall—” he paused “—as if you aren’t important.” He ran a hand through his hair. “You are important. Even though you’ve only been here a few days, you’re already making a difference at my office, and I guess in my life. Mine and the girls’ lives. And that’s, I suppose, why I ignored you. But it isn’t right for me to treat you badly just because I’m feeling guilty.”

  Kate used to get confused every now and then when she was taking the radiation and the chemo. Her thoughts would get muddled, and she couldn’t wrap her mind around sentences to find the meaning. That was how she felt now, and she didn’t like it, at all. But she also couldn’t make heads or tails of what he’d “explained.” So she asked, “Mitch, I don’t understand. You said you treated me badly—which I will disagree with from the get-go, by the way—and you did it because you felt guilty. Guilty about what?”

  His jaw tensed, and he ran his hand through his hair another time, causing it to stand on end. He certainly didn’t care. “You may not have even noticed it this afternoon, but I did. The people around town, when they saw us together, I believe some of them, probably most of them, saw us as...” He hesitated, then plunged ahead. “They saw us as a potential couple.”

  Kate had picked up on a hint of that from Mr. Feazell at the toy store, but she’d also thought he’d figured out the truth before they left. “I think once you explained that I am your employee, they knew that we weren’t.” Then realization dawned. “But you felt guilty,” she whispered, “because you felt like you were betraying your wife’s memory? Because they assumed you might be interested in someone else?”

  He nodded, and Kate’s heart skipped in her chest. He’d loved his wife so much that even a year and a half after she’d passed away, he felt guilty for even presenting the assumption that he was seeing someone else. What kind of love was that?

  “Oh, Mitch, I’m so sorry. I will take extra care not to give off the wrong impression of our relationship.” She leaned toward him as she spoke now, wanting him to know that she meant every word and was no longer uncomfortable facing him straight on. She didn’t want to hide from him. She wanted to get to know more about this compelling man who, with every action and every word, reinforced the fact that he was a good man, faithful and honest, who worked hard at his job, loved his God and his little girls...and still loved their mother so much that he didn’t want to mar her memory with rumors of a new female interest. “It may be my fault that they got the wrong idea,” she said.

  He shook his head. “I don’t understand how it could be your fault, Kate.”

  “Because I—” She debated how much to say. She wasn’t certain how he’d handle the truth about who she was and what she’d done, but she also felt he deserved to know why she was so drawn to him now. And maybe that was what the shop owners had picked up on, her awe toward this man.

  “Because you what, Kate?” he asked, obviously anxious to hear the rest of her confession.

  Kate decided to tell him the truth. Some of it, anyway. And pray that God would forgive her—and that Mitch would forgive her—for not giving him everything yet. She just wasn’t ready.

  “They may have gotten the wrong idea because I admire you so much. I’m captivated by you, truthfully. Maybe they saw that, and maybe they got the wrong idea about why.”

  His mouth opened, and then he closed it before he said...whatever had come to mind. Kate wished he’d have blurted it out; that was what she’d just done. Turnabout was fair play, after all, and then maybe she wouldn’t feel so exposed now, as though someone had yanked a bandage off her heart.

  Finally, he said, “You just met me three days ago. How could you be—” he grimaced as though he found it hard to say the next word, then continued “—captivated by me?”

  “Because you’ve done it all right. What I wish I’d have done from the start, and what I would love to go back and do over, but I can’t. You accepted responsibility and you found the courage to give Dee and Emmie every bit of your life and your love. You’re a real parent—” tears burned as they pushed forward “—and that’s what I so wish I could be.”

  “You want to be a mother,” he said softly, as though he understood.

  But he didn’t. “I had a daughter,” she said, “nearly four years ago.” She blinked through more tears. “She’s the same age as Dee.”

  “You had a daughter?” he asked, his voice tender with emotion. “What happened, Kate?”

  “I gave her up.” Her chin trembled, and a sucking gasp escaped. “Seeing you, watching how wonderful you are with Dee and Emmie—” another loud, un-ladylike sniff “—is why I’m so captivated with you. Because you’re everything that I wasn’t. I—gave—her—up.”

  Her sobs tore through the stillness of the night, but they were soon smothered against the broad planes of Mitch’s chest, because he pulled her close, holding her through the pain, through the tears and whispering the words he must’ve thought she wanted to hear.

  “I’m so sorry, Kate. It’ll be okay. Everything will be okay.”

  But Kate thought of that bulletin board at the church and Lainey’s sweet, beautiful face smiling at her from the center of that yellow crepe paper flower, and her tears fell harder, because she knew that, when the entire truth came out, everything would definitely not be okay.

  Chapter Six

  “You wait here, Daddy,” Dee instructed. “I want to get Miss Kate by myself.”

  Mitch admired the independent spirit growing stronger and stronger in his oldest princess, a quality she’d undoubtedly inherited from Jana. His late wife had been “strong-willed,” as her family called it, finding it difficult to ask for help and thrilling to accomplish any task on her own. Dee was a pint-size version of the woman he’d loved, and he thanked God for reminding him this week—with Emmie’s select
ion of the stuffed bulldog she currently clutched in her arms and with Dee’s determination now to get Miss Kate by herself—that Jana would always be here, a part of their lives, in spirit.

  Following Dee’s request that he stay put, Mitch stood his ground near the towering magnolia that filled one side of the bed-and-breakfast’s front yard. When Dee teetered a little on the third step, he moved forward.

  “I’m okay,” she said quickly.

  “I know you are,” he said, never wanting to stifle that independence, “but it’ll be easier if you let me hold the bread or Snow White so you can use the rails.”

  She had her treasured Snow White figurine in one hand and a bag of bread in the other. She’d insisted she could carry both—and she could—but hauling them while also tackling the B and B’s stairs wasn’t so easy. He took another step toward her, but she shook her red pigtails. “I can do it,” she said, and then moved the Disney figure to the opposite hand so that she grasped both the knotted bread bag and the prized princess in her left fist. “See?” she asked excitedly, putting her other hand on the rail and continuing toward the door.

  Amazing, the pride he felt at watching her figure things out on her own. “Yes,” he said, “I do see, and you’re doing a great job.”

  Emmie wiggled in his arms so she could watch her big sister complete her way up the steps, across the porch and to the front door. “Kay-Kay,” she said, obviously looking forward to seeing Kate today as much as Dee.

  And as much as Mitch.

  For the past three days, ever since their conversation late Wednesday evening, he hadn’t stopped thinking about the petite, black-haired beauty that had fallen apart in his arms. He’d wanted to protect her that night; in fact, he’d wanted to protect her ever since. She’d admitted something so personal—that she’d given up a child—and Mitch had felt her pain so intensely that he’d gone to bed that night wiping away his own tears.

  He couldn’t imagine giving up a child, couldn’t imagine a life that didn’t include his precious Dee or Emmie. And even though he didn’t know the details about why Kate had chosen to give up her baby, he knew the end result. She ached for a child she never knew.

  And maybe because of that, she’d quickly grown to adore Mitch’s children. He could see her affection toward Dee and Emmie every time she spoke to them, looked at them. And he sensed that God had brought Kate Wydell to Claremont for more than merely providing Mitch with someone to help him at the office. He’d brought her here because He didn’t merely plan on Kate helping Mitch; He planned on Mitch helping Kate.

  Bonding with Dee and Emmie provided a salve for her soul, and he realized that their growing relationship with Kate was something he shouldn’t fight or feel guilty about. This was good for his girls, good for Kate...and maybe even good for Mitch.

  He enjoyed the journey raising the girls. And, though it took him a few days to adjust to the idea, he also enjoyed the fact that Kate was becoming a part of their lives. They had their grandmother, their aunt Hannah and their teachers at school and day care, so it wasn’t as if they hadn’t been around adult females before, but there was something different about the way they were around Kate.

  And the way Kate was around his girls. Even though she’d known them only a week, he was certain that every time she looked at Dee and Emmie, he saw love.

  Kate must have seen them coming, because the door opened to reveal the object of his thoughts standing on the other side.

  “Well, hey,” she said, her smile beaming at Dee. She wore a red sundress similar to the blue one she’d worn earlier in the week, the skirt skimming her ankles, except she didn’t have the jacket on this time, and Mitch’s attention was drawn to her slender neck and shoulders. A small gold locket rested beneath her throat, and it glistened in the morning sunlight. Although he’d been around her every day this week, Mitch still found himself momentarily taken hostage by her beauty. She didn’t seem to be aware of the effect on him, which was good.

  “Is it time to go now?” she asked Dee.

  “We got old bread.” Dee lifted the half loaf of wheat bread, smashed to smithereens from her desire to carry it on her own. She’d dropped it a couple of times before they’d even made it out of the house and then had swung it like a lopsided purse ever since.

  “I see that.” Kate managed to keep her smile in place without so much as a giggle at the pitiful bag of bread. “Do you know what?”

  “What?” Dee asked.

  Emmie, wanting to join in on the conversation, said, “Wha?”

  Kate laughed. “I told Mrs. Tingle that we were going to feed the ducks today, and she gave us all of her leftover bread from breakfast.”

  “How much?” Dee asked, leaning to the side to peer past Kate.

  Kate crooked her finger, grinned at Mitch and Emmie and then steered Dee inside. A few seconds later, Dee dashed out with both hands clutching grocery bags that each held at least two loaves of bread. “Look at this, Daddy!” She held up her prize.

  “Wow!” Mitch exclaimed. “That sure is a lot of bread. What did you do with the loaf you had?”

  “Miss Kate put it in here. She said I could carry these by myself. And we put Snow White in my pocket.” She glanced down to her chest, where the figure’s dark head peeked over the pocket of her pink shirt.

  Her smile stretched into both cheeks, and Mitch knew he hadn’t made a bad decision inviting Kate on their outing today. They’d worked hard all week, first at Mitch’s home—while taking care of sick children, no less—and then at the office. They deserved a day of fun, and he knew Kate would enjoy it more if Dee and Emmie were a part of the activities. Feeding the ducks seemed perfect. Nothing too intimate that would suggest a date to prying eyes, but private enough that they could enjoy the gorgeous day and the girls without a huge crowd. There would be some people at Hydrangea Park, no doubt, but the place was large enough that he, Kate and the girls could find a spot for feeding the ducks.

  “I’ve actually got a few things for us to bring,” Kate said, carrying an oversize picnic basket.

  Annette Tingle followed Kate onto the porch. “Kate told me y’all were going to Hydrangea Park to feed the ducks, and the day is so pretty that I thought it might be nice if you had a picnic while you’re there. I surprised her by packing y’all a basket.”

  “A picnic! Yay!” Dee looked to Mitch. “You hear that, Daddy? We’re gonna have a picnic!”

  “I heard,” he said. A picnic. Feeding the ducks had seemed like a fun activity, definitely nowhere near the date realm. A picnic in the park and feeding the ducks...teetered on the edge of date classification. Then again, was it considered a date if you brought your children along? Maybe that fact kept this situation clear, and it eased Mitch’s concern for folks getting the wrong idea again.

  “And I’ve got a little surprise, too,” Kate said. “Let me put this basket in the car and I’ll go get it.”

  Mitch shifted Emmie to his left hip and moved toward Kate. “Here, I’ll take the basket for you.”

  Their hands brushed as he claimed the wooden handle, and the hint of peaches that always surrounded Kate caused him to inhale deeper; however, that scent was quickly overpowered by the smells escaping that basket. “Fried chicken?” he asked.

  “I thought the girls would like chicken tenders,” Annette said, “and I also put in some homemade potato salad, baked beans and coleslaw. Oh, and a few fried apple pies. They were still hot from the oven, so I added a little silver shaker of powdered sugar for you to put on top before you eat them. That makes them taste better, you know.”

  Mitch wasn’t hungry, but his stomach growled anyway, and Mrs. Tingle grinned.

  “Sounds like you’re gonna enjoy them,” she said.

  “I can’t imagine anyone not enjoying all of that,” he said honestly, thinking that the picnic wasn’t a bad idea after all. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been on a picnic or had that kind of home-cooked food. Oh, wait, earlier this week he had, and courte
sy of the same sweet neighbor. “Thanks, Mrs. Tingle. I really appreciate this.”

  “I do, too,” Kate said, and then she hugged Annette, but it wasn’t a typical thank-you type hug. She held her for a moment, gently squeezing her close. “You’ve been so good to me.”

  Mrs. Tingle sniffed then blinked a couple of times. “Oh, child, you touch my heart.” Then she broke the hug and gave Kate a tender smile. “Now you go enjoy yourself today. Everything’s going to be just fine.”

  Mitch wondered what the woman referred to. Had Kate also told her about the child she’d given up? Had she told the lady that she was “captivated,” as she put it, by Mitch’s parenting of his girls? Or was there more currently bonding Mrs. Tingle to Kate?

  He shouldn’t feel he needed to know. Kate was his employee, and he knew as much as he should know about an employee. But they’d moved beyond employee status Wednesday night when he’d held her in his arms. Friends, maybe? Or perhaps comforters would be a better term.

  Had Kate gotten upset again, needed someone for comfort and turned to Mrs. Tingle?

  And if she did, Mitch wondered...why her? And why not him?

  “You said you have a surprise,” Dee reminded Kate, then gave her a full baby-teeth grin. “What is it?”

  “I’ll go get it,” Kate said, turning and darting back into the house.

  Mitch opened the trunk of his car with the key fob and then walked toward it to put the basket inside and to get his mind off whether or not Kate had confided in Mrs. Tingle instead of him. Dee’s squeal of delight forced him to look back to the porch, where Kate had exited with a kite in each hand, one bright yellow with a smiley in the center, the other bright pink with the same smiley.

  “Daddy, look!” Dee yelled.

  “Wook!” Emmie repeated.

  Kate and Dee hurried toward the car, Dee swinging the bread bags as she’d been doing all day, but now with a little extra jump in her step, and Kate laughing softly.