Mommy Wanted Read online

  “I knew you would understand,” Hannah said. “It’s not smart to reschedule, in case, well, you know.”

  Mitch nodded. He knew how important it was to find the cancer early and to treat it promptly. He also knew what would happen if you ignored the treatment, say, for fear of hurting your child. He thought of Jana, and then of Emmie. “It’s fine, Hannah. Really. I hope everything goes well with your appointment.”

  “Thanks, Mitch. We’ll see you soon.”

  She disconnected, and Mitch found himself looking to the desk across the office and its empty chair. Kate had asked to leave early tomorrow for a doctor’s appointment, but she’d never said what kind. He suddenly wondered whether she would be going through a screening, too.

  No, it was probably an annual female exam, or something else that would cause her to simply say she had an “appointment” without explanation. There was no reason at all for him to think it was anything more. Kate would have told him if it were serious. Surely, she would. Mitch knew he was starting to feel something toward the dark-haired beauty, and he also knew his heart couldn’t handle watching someone he cared about deal with that horrid disease again. No way, no how.

  * * *

  Kate parked her car in a visitor spot at the Stockville Community College, gathered her courage and said a fervent prayer that Chad would forgive her. Had it been only three years ago when Chad left his med-school dreams behind in Atlanta and took the job as a professor in the biology department here in an effort to save their marriage?

  Hard to believe how much had happened in those three years. Hard to believe how much Kate had changed.

  Would Chad believe it? And would it change the way Mitch felt about her when he realized she was “Chad’s Kate”?

  The breeze that had been consistent lately and had helped them fly those kites on Saturday picked up again as she walked across the quad and toward the sciences building. It pushed against her face as she moved, and it forced her eyes to water.

  Or maybe she’d simply started to cry and wanted to blame it on the wind.

  Kate reached the building and paused before starting inside.

  God, be with me now. And, Lord, please be with Chad. Give him a forgiving heart, and give me the strength to get through this. And, God, if it be Your will, let me have a chance with my little girl.

  “Here you go.”

  Kate looked up to see a boy who looked like he was barely eighteen holding the door open for her to enter the building. “Thank you,” she said, and then asked, “Do you happen to know where Chad Martin’s office is located?” She’d never even seen his office. Chad had brought her to the campus and shown her the sciences building when he’d decided to take the job, but she had hightailed it back to Atlanta so fast she’d never seen the actual office.

  “Sure,” the boy said with a grin. “Up the stairs to the second floor, last door on the right.”

  “Thanks.” She entered the building and was surprised at the high ceilings with several inches of ornate crown molding, polished dark cherry accents on creamy white walls and white marble tiled floors. Chad had been so excited to get the position with “one of the oldest, most prestigious community colleges in the nation,” as he’d described it. But Kate had heard the words community college and turned her nose in the air.

  What a fool she’d been.

  Several students met her in the stairwell and along the hallway as she made her way toward Chad’s office. Most spoke cordially, and Kate attempted to answer even though her throat had started to tighten and her heart constricted in her chest. Three years ago, she didn’t believe this place “big enough” for her, didn’t believe Claremont “good enough” and didn’t believe Chad Martin “man enough.”

  She’d spewed hateful words at the man who’d done nothing but love her as she packed her bags and started out the door. And then she’d spouted pure venom when she told him the truth about Lainey...and twisted the knife.

  The wounded look on his face as she slammed the door was tattooed permanently on her mind and on her heart.

  And yet she’d simply kept walking.

  She stopped a few feet from Chad’s door, uncertain whether she could enter. Her stomach lurched, and she regretted that she’d eaten lunch because she feared it was ready to make a reappearance.

  Help me, God.

  “You need help, miss?”

  The deep baritone surprised her, as it seemed it might have come from God himself, hearing her cry and answering so loudly on her heart that she trembled. But she turned to see an older man smiling nearby.

  “Are you looking for a particular class?” that same deep voice asked. “I’m the dean here. Maybe I can help.”

  “I—I’m here to see Mr. Martin,” she said. “Chad Martin.” She pointed toward the door bearing Chad’s nameplate. “Just gathering my courage,” she said honestly, without adding she was also fighting the urge to get sick.

  “Well, you’re at the right office, but Dr. Martin is on vacation. You can talk to his office assistant and set up an appointment for when he returns next week, though, if you’d like. Her name is Lynn, and she’ll be happy to help you.”

  Kate took a small step back, the man’s words hitting her as if he’d kicked her. She’d actually called the school and spoken with Chad’s assistant two weeks ago, after Mother’s Day and after she’d decided she didn’t want another year to pass without knowing her little girl. She’d been told he was on vacation and assumed he’d be back this week. Obviously, his vacation was lasting longer than she’d anticipated. He’d be gone until next week?

  “Are you okay?” The older man’s concerned tone told Kate that she probably looked as bad as she felt.

  “I’m actually not feeling well,” she said, then spotted an antique wooden bench a short way down the hall and started walking toward it. “I’m going to sit down for a moment.”

  He walked beside her and then said, “I’ll get you a cup of water.”

  Kate didn’t have the wherewithal to stop him, and she also thought some water might help her queasiness. Within seconds, he returned holding a white cone-shaped cup filled with cold water that did indeed make her feel better. “Thank you,” she said.

  “You’re welcome,” he answered. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

  Make Chad come back sooner. Let me see my little girl. Help me get my life back on track. There were several things—important things—Kate needed, but nothing that she could obtain from this man. “No, but thank you for your kindness.”

  He nodded. “Well, I’m sure Dr. Martin will be happy to speak to you once he returns.” Then he gave her another smile and walked away.

  Dr. Martin. Doctor.

  She hadn’t realized he’d obtained his doctorate, and the irony of the fact broadsided her. She’d been so angry when he dropped out of med school, because she’d wanted to be married to a doctor. But he’d quit because she’d been so unhappy about the hours he spent in school and studying; he’d wanted to save the marriage. He hadn’t even realized that, in Kate’s heart, the marriage was already over.

  Now, although it wasn’t in the medical field, Chad actually was a doctor and had achieved his dream. She was proud of him for that, especially after everything she’d put him through back then. He’d continued on, probably relying on God to see him through the pain Kate inflicted.

  How would things have been different if Kate would have turned to God back then, instead of waiting until she thought she was dying to find her Savior? Maybe then she wouldn’t have been so stupid...or so hateful. So self-absorbed. So spiteful.

  The list went on and on.

  She’d wanted to talk about all of those things today with Chad, to apologize, to explain how she’d changed, to beg for forgiveness.

  But he was gone.

  Kate leaned her head back and let it rest against the wall. She’d been ready to confess her offenses, ready to learn whether she would receive forgiveness, ready to begin her life again...
hopefully with some form of a relationship with the little girl she’d left behind.

  She’d have to wait to talk to Chad, but she simply couldn’t wait that long to talk to someone about these emotions. Pushing up from the bench, she made a decision. She would talk to someone today, and she knew exactly who that someone should be.

  Chapter Eight

  “Someone’s here!” Dee yelled, scurrying away from the pink dollhouse currently claiming dominion in the center of the living-room floor and running toward the knock at the front door. “Maybe it’s Miss Kate!”

  “Kay-Kay,” Emmie said, taking a little longer to stand from her spot near the dollhouse and then toddling behind her sister.

  Mitch had noticed Kate’s car wasn’t at the B and B when he brought the girls home, so he assumed she was running errands and had planned to check again later to see if she’d returned home. He’d looked forward to seeing her again ever since she left the office, and he was beginning to think of that as a good thing. A positive thing.

  “Oh, it’s not Miss Kate!” Dee said, peering past the curtain in the sidelight. “It’s Aunt Hannah and Autumn!” Dee waved at them through the window while Mitch unlocked the door.

  “Autumn?” Emmie asked, attempting to move a little quicker as she padded toward them.

  Mitch gave them a smile as he opened the door and hoped he didn’t look too disappointed that they were on the other side instead of Kate. “Hey, Hannah.”

  Her brows were lifted, and she didn’t waste a second before saying, “It’s me, not Miss Kate.” Then one corner of her mouth lifted and she added, “You need to tell me more about this lady.”

  “Yeah, I suppose I do,” he said. He’d decided that he might actually ask Kate out to dinner soon, which would undoubtedly qualify as a date, and he wanted to make sure his family—Jana’s family—were okay with that before he asked her. He loved Bo, Maura, Matt and Hannah, and he didn’t want to do anything to hurt them, but he also suspected they would understand if he were, finally, ready to start dating again.

  “We went to the beach,” Autumn said, “and we got you some prizes.”

  “Prizes? Really? What is it?” Dee asked, now focusing on the large orange bag in Hannah’s hand.

  Autumn reached into the bag. “I’ll show you,” she said, withdrawing a mesh green bag containing a ball with two Velcro paddles. “This is for you to throw and catch the ball. Daddy and I played it on the beach, and GiGi and I did, too.”

  Mitch imagined the group on the beach, all of them laughing and playing and having fun, with Maura, aka GiGi, joining in the fun. Maura was one of those grandmothers who didn’t merely smile and wave to her grandkids; she got down on the floor and played with them. Or in this case, the sand.

  He felt a little regret that he hadn’t taken the girls on the trip and given them the chance to play with Autumn on the beach, but then he remembered how much fun they’d had at the park with Kate, and he knew they’d had a good time last week, too. Plus they’d been sick at the beginning of the week, and that would have made for a pretty miserable time at a beach condo.

  “And we got you some seashells, too,” Autumn said, pulling out another mesh bag filled with shells. “If you hold ’em up by your ear, you can hear the beach! Come here, and I’ll show you.” She grabbed the bag of shells and turned to take a seat in the center of the porch with Dee and Emmie following.

  Hannah shook her head. “She’s still got to get the hang of giving presents.” Then she said to Autumn, “Hey, don’t you think they might have wanted to open their gifts themselves?”

  “They like it when I help,” Autumn said, picking up a couple of shells and handing one to Dee and another to Emmie. “Okay, now hold it up and listen.” She held a shell to her ear to demonstrate.

  “Wissen,” Emmie said, squinting as she pressed a small pink shell against her ear.

  Dee grabbed a larger cream-colored shell and held it against her ear and cheek. “Wow, cool! I think I hear it.”

  Mitch and Hannah sat on the swing while the girls took turns listening to each shell in the bag to see if they all sounded the same or different. As he suspected, Hannah didn’t wait long before asking him about his new employee.

  “So, what’s Kate’s last name? I didn’t think to ask when I spoke to her on the phone earlier. Of course, I was a little surprised that you’d hired someone while we were out of town.” She cleared her throat. “Not that I think it’s bad that you hired someone. You’ve needed help for so long, and I’m glad you found somebody for the job. It’s just odd that she isn’t from around here. I mean, not a lot of people just up and move to Claremont, you know?”

  “I know.” He could have said more, like he still planned to find out exactly what had brought Kate here, but he didn’t want to stir her curiosity any more than it already had been. “Her last name is Wydell.”

  “Wydell.” She looked up to the ceiling as she pondered the name, then shook her head. “Nope, I don’t believe I’ve ever known anyone with that name.”

  “Me, either,” he said.

  Emmie toddled over to hand him a shell. “Here, Daddy.”

  “Thanks, sweetie,” he said, accepting the tiny gray shell.

  “Wissen,” she instructed, so Mitch took the shell to his ear.

  Sure enough, that whispery sound he associated with seashells was there. “Yes, I hear it.”

  She clapped, then reached for the shell and went back to join Autumn and Dee.

  Hannah and Mitch watched the girls for a moment in silence, and then she said, “So, I guess Kate has been to your house?”

  He should’ve known she wouldn’t let Dee’s remark go without comment. “Yes,” he said. “When she started last week, both of the girls were sick with a virus that’s been making its way through the schools. First Emmie, and then Dee. I couldn’t take them to day care, but I had a ton of policies to catch up on, so we worked from here.”

  Her mouth slid to the side. “That...makes sense.”

  Mitch debated how much to say at this point, because he was only beginning to come to terms with the fact that he wanted to go out with Kate, but he also knew he didn’t want to wait long before asking her. So he might as well test the waters with his family. “We took the girls to Hydrangea Park Saturday.”

  They’d been pushing the swing back and forth slightly, comfortably, as they talked, but Hannah scooted forward so that her flip-flops flattened on the ground and the swing stopped moving. “You and Kate?” she asked.

  He nodded.

  Apparently Dee had been paying attention to at least a portion of their conversation, because she added, “Miss Kate flew kites with us, and mine went the highest. Daddy had to help Miss Kate and Emmie so theirs didn’t blow away,” she said with a giggle.

  Hannah’s brows lifted to disappear beneath her brown bangs.

  “Hey, Mommy, can we take the ball and paddles in the yard to play?” Autumn asked.

  Hannah turned from Mitch to the girls. “Sure. Just stay on the grass, okay?”

  “Okay!”

  Autumn and Dee bagged the seashells, while Emmie pushed against the porch floor to stand and then moved toward the swing. “Hold you, Daddy.”

  Mitch picked her up, kissed her cheek and wondered how long it would take Hannah to ask more about Kate. Didn’t take but a moment, about the same amount of time that it took Autumn and Dee to unwrap the paddles and toss the first ball.

  “I get the feeling there may be more to Kate than her being your employee,” she said. “Am I right?”

  Hannah often came across as a protective sister to Mitch, but he didn’t really mind. She was the closest thing to a sibling that he’d ever had, and he appreciated the fact that she cared. So he didn’t tell her she was being nosy or remind her that it’d been a year and a half since Jana had passed away or that he hadn’t even had coffee with another lady since.

  Instead, he prepared to tell the truth. “There’s something about her—” he started, but H
annah held up a hand.

  “Wait,” she said. “First I want to say something.”

  “Okay.” Mitch braced himself for the worst, which, in his mind, would be Hannah saying that when he moved on to another relationship they wouldn’t be able to maintain their place in his life because it’d be too difficult seeing Mitch with someone other than Jana.

  “I just want you to know,” she said, “that Matt and I have been praying for this. Maybe not Kate specifically, but we have prayed for God to find someone for you to date again and to eventually give you the courage to love again. Jana wouldn’t have wanted you to be alone forever, and neither do we.”

  Mitch’s jaw flexed as he fought to control the emotion her words evoked. They loved him like a son and brother, and they supported him even now, when he considered finally moving on and dating again. “I hope you know how much that means to me, Hannah.”

  She placed her hand over his on the porch swing and gently squeezed. “You meant everything to my sister, and you’ll always be family to us, no matter what.”

  “Daddy, down,” Emmie said, pointing toward the other girls and squirming to get free.

  Mitch was thankful for his little lady breaking the tension of his and Hannah’s serious conversation. “Sure, you can get down, sweetie. Just let me get you a ball to play with and then I’ll help you down the stairs to be with the girls.” He got up from the swing and went inside to retrieve Emmie’s favorite plastic ball, the one with Strawberry Shortcake on the side, and then returned to find Hannah sitting on the middle porch step. He put Emmie on the grass near Autumn and Dee and gave her the ball. And as soon as he took a seat on the porch step next to Hannah, he saw Kate’s car.

  Kate looked toward Mitch’s house and lifted her hand before she turned in the driveway, and Mitch grinned. “Looks like you may get to meet Kate sooner than you thought.”

  Hannah straightened on the step. “What? That was her? She’s staying at the bed-and-breakfast?”